As I begin our story this week, I must be careful with my words, to ensure all unnamed little people continue reaping the rewards of what we are about to talk about. Becoming aware on one of my children’s recent antics, I simply couldn’t resist sharing them with you. Yesterday, while preparing to go home for the evening Riyann, my nine-year-old, hurriedly got in my vehicle, choosing to ride with good ol dad rather than her momma. As we went about our normal routine of ensuring we were seat belted in, hadn’t forgotten anything important like her iPad or other devices, and were set for a relaxing time at home, I began pulling out of the parking space.
As I placed the vehicle in reverse, I felt a gentle nudge on my elbow. Turning my head in the direction of the nudge, I observed Riyann looking upward. What caught my eye at that moment would leave me unable to fully contain my inner laughter at the pure, unrestrained, honesty of the child. The easiest way to describe what transpired is to attempt to help you understand through talking about what it looked like.
Similar to a street level drug deal we have all seen go down on the television screen. You know, the one with one person looking at another while the person, attempting to unload the product shyly looks around, then nodding in the direction of their hand which is closely held to their side, hoping to not draw attention. That is what I saw. As I looked down, genuinely saying to myself “what on earth is this child doing” I observed what can be widely considered every parent’s worst nightmare. Ok, maybe not the worst, but definitely one which ranks rather high on the “oh no” list.
In my child’s hand lay a large sized, zip lock baggie, wrapped securely around two large crunch, chocolate candy bars. As I attempted to nod with the proverbial “nice” … response, Riy’s eyes quickly darted to the right, and apparently observing something or someone, her hand rushed to return the treasured package back within the deep confines of her backpack. Before I could say anything, she described that her friend was upset because she (Riy) forgot to bring her candy today, but she was prepared for tomorrow.
Being worried that my child may have fallen victim to the school yard bully requiring payment in the form of candy, I inquired as to why her friend wanted her to provide her with “goodies”. Riy quickly and quite decisively described that she had a really good friend, whose mom “is pretty rude”. As a point of reference, When Riyann calls someone rude it is normally because they are setting rules or enforcing them. She went on to say that she supplies her friend with candy, daily, because her mom won’t. She stated her giving the friend candy makes her happy and allows her to enjoy the better things in life. She asked if her supply was adequate and acceptable. What could a dad say, you guessed it, I said it surely was.
As you can imagine, the remainder of our journey home consisted with an inward struggle for me. One side, the dad side, truly thought the entire interaction, hidden gift, and reasoning was humorous. The other part of me, the parental side, cautioned her against going against the child’s mothers wishes because there may be a valid reason for her restrictive diet. Although saying she understood, I’m relatively certain the transaction involving the ever so yummy treats moved forward. So now, I realize, I’m the father of the local candy smuggler, not absent compassion, as she attempts to meet the sugar high needs of another nine-year-old.
In life it seems that the moments which catch us off guard can at times bring us a needed level of humor as well as thought invoking consideration about how the manner we choose to engage compassion and kindness sometimes goes against the norm while maintain the ultimate goal of supplying a need. We must be ever mindful of possibilities as we develop ways to share with others.
