Being the single parent of a bright ten -year- old daughter brought new challenges and adventures, sometimes on a daily basis. Life it seemed had transitioned from that of ease to one of scheduling, no sleep, and fear. With no end in sight, I simply held on and did the best I could as a young father.  I recall when my eldest daughter was finishing up elementary school it was important to me, that my child knew I was fully committed to her regardless of the challenges.  Little did I know or in all reality understand the depths which this thing called parenthood would take me.

One aspect I truly enjoyed about parenting is the opportunity to tag along as the kids get to go on adventures such as field trips and classroom parties. I recall the excitement I felt, when given the opportunity to partake and travel alongside the other parents as we relived our youth through our children as they explored and spread their adventurous wings. As a parent, I had the opportunity to spend time with my child as they embarked upon educational fun. What could be better.

I recall Natalie being overly excited one year to take part in the annual end of the school year field day. As we prepared for the event, she could barely contain her excitement as she spoke of trying hard and winning as many event ribbons as she could. Encouraging her to give it her best I recall the feelings of competition overtaking me as I graced her with the latest strategies and tactics designed to ensure her success. As I drove to the designated field and waited for the arrival of the student’s I thought about what a beautiful day it had turned out to be along the front range of Colorado.  I watched as several other parents arrived. Hoping to secure the best location possible and of course show how awesome of a dad I was I assembled alongside the sparsely positioned parents.

Engaging in small talk, I was doing pretty well holding my own with the other ultra-competitive parents. As we spoke about a wide variety of things, I fit right in in spite of my lengthy six-foot seven frame and newly laundered dad shorts which I had spent hours picking out. I’ve learned over the years what we as parents wear is just as important as what we say. To embarrass our offspring within their peer group although fun at times, heck even necessary every now and then, results in nothing more than disaster. It was then that a factor I hadn’t considered was brought to my attention. While hanging out, looking cool, and playing the part, a petit young mother looked around, then up at me. Unaware if she peered in pure enlightenment over my awesome dad bod adorned in my new knee length surfer shorts or if it was something else, surely it was something else, she hesitated then looked away.

Being intrigued, I continued watching on as the school buses arrived. Without hesitation, and without remorse, this mother moved closer, looked up and whispered the words which would cause my feelings of excitement to rapidly deplete and be replaced with those of unease and self-consciousness. Although simplistic and surely with the best of intentions this mother simply said to me “wow, do you realize you’re the only dad that ever comes to these things?”

Immediately, my thoughts flowed to this polite, little lady getting inside my head. Although not a bad thing, the idea of me being the only male in a sea of feminine competitive forces left an uneasy air about the place. Finding myself questioning if the other mothers would react the same or even provide the same advice to their children became my plight for the day. For the remainder of the event, I did my best to put on the best face possible as my child engaged her competitive side. Realizing that lone mother was right, with each turn and each glance where my eyes only found moms. I too was a mom that day, and the days and events that followed. For being a single parent caused us to take on both roles. Although being the only male there, they welcomed me into the fold and treated me like one of their own.

Thinking back, that day began with excitements and plans for adventure throughout. Through the words of one person, my day shifted to unease and an awareness that I was different then everyone else, not better, or worse, simply different. This is where my true adventure would unfold, and I would learn a lesson about life itself.  Friends, throughout life we are faced with situations where we are committed to doing things in a manner which brings us success. Every now and then, things happen where our comfort level, while accomplishing that commitment is challenged. It is up to each of us to ensure that as our comfort level subsidies our commitment remains unchanged. Commitment does not require comfort, merely perseverance. I continued attending events, being the only dad, wearing those awful shorts, and enjoying the bond my attendance fostered with my child. Besides, being a part of the “mom group” taught me the true value of parental commitment and competitive friendship along with many tricks, which would help me with my daughter, along the way.