“It seems to me the less I fight my fear, the less it fights back. If I can relax, fear relaxes, too” ~Elizabeth Gilbert
Growing up along the front range of Colorado I was never really all that jazzed about this time of year; when school would commence again for the new year. I would always look forward to the first day with excitement because of the unknown and the change in settings, but those feelings were normally short lived once the daily routine set in and the work began.
This week I learned a valuable lesson from the girls. The girls, although separated by a little over a year, in age, are similar in many ways and vastly different in many more. Lilli is a expedintionally analytical thinker who loves school and the learning which is at her fingertips. Riyann, not so much so. Riy thrives off of her artistic fervor and her ability to engineer exciting new concepts with minimal effort. Over the years we have learned that Riyann for the most part despises school and has become somewhat a recluse when attending.
A couple of weeks ago Leona and I were shocked when Riy was describing that she was ready for school to start this year. Apparently, our shock was visible upon our faces hence, Riyann quickly backtracked and explained that she was not really that excited about school. As the days passed we continued to attempt to encourage the girls through describing what a awesome year this will be and the possibilities they would be experiencing with new grades and new teachers.
The normal routine within our family is similar to prepping for a battle of sorts. Repeated warnings, threats, and frustration filled the air as we attempt to get the little one up and ready for a day of schooling, which she despised, and the quiet hugs and encouragement routinely given upon her returning home with tears in her eyes from her inability to fit the student mold effectively. Although honestly, numerous attempts to influence her thoughts on school and providing her encouragement, we felt the strain of how best to set our child up for success given her outlook.
Earlier this week, while viewing a social media post, I observed a notice that the school was having a back to school fair. Attempting to excite the girls, I jovially passed on the information and to my surprise both girls were moderately excited about their attendance. We attended the schools back to school festivities where the girls would have the opportunity to see their new classrooms and meet their teachers. Although Riyann tagged along, the original excitement over the event faded and she displayed no outward signs of elation or happiness. As we approached the building Riyann explained that she was nervous. Following some encouragement, we past through the doorway and things quickly changed.
Seeing one of Riyanns “friend teachers” she quickly ran to her. I had to laugh inwardly because as Riyann approached the teacher she started running then instantaneously in an apparent form of restraint from remembering that it was not acceptable to run in school, began speed walking like an Olympic gold medalist, towards the teacher giving her a huge hug upon her arrival. The teacher reciprocated Riyann excitement a, returning her hug with selfless vigor, loving on the child and welcoming her to a bright new year.
This scene played its way out repeatedly all the way down the hallway, as we passed each classroom doorway. A smile became fixed to my child’s face as she explored her new classroom and spoke to her new teacher. Lilli, feeling a bit apprehensive herself because of her move into a different building due to her age, likewise quickly calmed as excitement overtook her while exploring her new environment. Upon returning home the girls, both, were full of excitement and energy as they showed their grandmother the newest items they had received and told her all about the cool new things they saw this night.
As my wife described “It is all right with their world now”. The same can be said about mom and dad as well. As I considered this monumental day for the girls I am reminded about how often we draw conclusions about people and situations and those same conclusions restrain our future actions somewhat. In many cases our feelings or insight into others is the result of our experiences and or our misconceptions. When we show a willingness to step out of the shelter of our mind and simply run /walk towards new adventures, with purpose, it is then that we restrain the fear within us and experience a more inclusive life.
